In this article I’m looking at a massive mistake that people make when they try to set goals, and it’s a mistake which sets them up to fail…
I took this picture on a trip to visit Ailsa Craig, off the West Coast of Scotland, which is where the world’s curling stones come from. Curling is a passion of mine, so it was lovely to go up there.
There are a lot of old castles up there, and it was while visiting Dunure Castle just up the road that I noticed this view – Ailsa Craig in the background, and a football goal in front, 2 sports which made me think that I had made my visit as part of my *own* plans, and of course the football goal made me think of the goal lesson.
So, what do I mean when I ask if you have signed up to someone else’s agenda..?
Well, pretty much what it says!
It’s so easy to follow the agenda set by someone else. So easy to follow the crowd. So easy to be part of the herd. Not making any unusual noise, creating no waves, not sticking your head above the parapet, or sticking your hand up to say “Er, is this the only choice?”
Even by following the crowd, we are following someone else’s agenda, in this case – the others in the crowd! We do it because it makes us feel comfortable. We don’t have to explain ourselves to others because we are all doing the same thing.
The problem is, the crowd may well be all doing the same thing, but that same thing in all probability, will be someone else’s agenda again!
That agenda could be the government’s, the media’s, the advertisers’. If we look more personally and go back further into our pasts, we may very well be following the agenda of our schooling, our upbringing, our parents.
How many people follow the same career path as a parent? Loads! Loads of people do, and it’s a classic example of following someone else’s agenda. It could be that you are not only following the career path of a parent, but the same as a grandparent too!
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this example per se, but if you look to the ancestors you are following, at some point you will find the one that set the precedent, and here’s the key – *that* person was not following the crowd, that person took that career because it was *their* choice, their agenda.
Can you see the difference? It’s huge.
It doesn’t have to be career choices. That’s just one example. It could be the fashion you wear, the way you do your hair or have a big fluffy beard. It could be the music you buy, or say you like. It could be the TV you watch, the car you drive, the language you use…
The list goes on, goes on way too far in my view.
I’m a big believer, if you haven’t gathered it by now, of doing your *own* thing! Treading your own path, liking what you actually like rather than what you think everyone else likes.
Set your own agenda.
If others don’t like it, that’s ok. You’re not setting your agenda for anyone else anyway, you’re setting it for *you!*
Some people won’t like it because it’s genuinely not their preference, which is fine – others will not like it, because seeing you set your own path shines a light on the fact that they are still following the crowd.
They might try and bring you down, to bring you back into the crowd, but you mustn’t let them, and in all honesty, it won’t take long for them to realise that you’re not going back, and if it means they get left behind, well, so be it sometimes.
If you follow other people’s reasons for setting your goals, when the challenges come up, as they always do, you won’t have the genuine motivation, and ensuing energy to overcome them, and failure becomes the most likely outcome.
Even if you do grit your teeth and push through, the frustration will build up because deep down you will be questioning why you even doing it, because deep down you know it’s not your own road you are on.
It can be scary to switch from being submissive to the agenda of others, to being active about your own, but the difference in your life, oh the difference in your life is transformational!
The frustrations will change from frustration at lack of self expression, to frustrations of forward heading obstacles to overcome, but since you’ll be feeling more in touch with your real soul, your own life joys, you’ll move forwards with energy and motivation.
It’s a marvellous thing. Try it. Have a good, long hard think about whether the agendas you follow are actually yours or not, and if not, buckle up and get ready to change to your own!
As ever, let me know what you think, I love the feedback!
‘Til next time,
Health & Happiness,
Gordon
P.S. Don’t forget to grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula via the box top right of any page!
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