If The People Around You Won’t Cheer You On, Go And Find People Who Will!

In this article I’m going to combine two massive interests of a lot of people – sport and self improvement…

Well ok, to be honest, the sport aspect is mostly just concerning the image, but it does the job! That photo was taken at an NFL game in London. October 2014, and I had finally got myself along to one of the International Series games in London having been a fan of the game since the mid 1980’s.

The match I saw was between the Atlanta Falcons and Detroit Lions, and luckily for me it was a great game, with the result going right down to the wire in classic NFL style.

I always enjoy looking at what’s going on around the actual sport as well as what’s on the field of play, and when you’re in the stadium you get to see things that you don’t see in the angles well honed over the years in the TV trucks.

One such thing that struck me was the cheerleaders (no honestly!). There are way more of them than I thought! I found myself thinking about how they are professionals, doing their job, enjoying an overseas work trip, which was still a work trip nonetheless.

I wondered about the roads each of them took to end up in that job, the limited opportunities with only 32 NFL teams, the auditions, the work they put in training and keeping in shape, the nods and reactions as they follow the lead cheerleader to react at various on field moments.

All of those fit into my message about goal achievement – the setting of the goal, the hard work, the trials and so on, but in fact it was the image of them walking into position that put the point of this article into my mind…

"Gordon Bryan", "The Great Gordino",

“If the people around you won’t cheer you on, go and find people that will.”

I’ve written many times, as have others, about the influence of the people around you. If the people around you have influence, (which they do), then it follows that you should give consideration to which people you *let* surround you, rather than just letting it happen willy nilly.

I’ve also written many times about the power of letting people know about your goals, letting people know the *real* you, your passions, your joys.

When you do this, you might be surprised at the help and opportunities that come your way. You might be surprised how many other people feel the same as you. This is great when it happens, it’s all forward progress.

It’s not always like that though, and often when you reveal the inner authentic you, it won’t go down well with the people around you.

They may tell you that you are wrong, and they may tell you quite forcefully! They may actively try to stop you, or it may be a more subtle constant stream of negativity.

There could be many reasons why they won’t be supportive. Maybe they genuinely think you would be going down the wrong path, in which case that’s feedback you can take on board and analyse.

Maybe they’ve been influenced by their own crowd of negative people they’ve had around them, so a negative response to positivity and self improvement is an automatic reflex.

Maybe they know deep down that you will succeed, but it will leave them behind unless they go with you, and it scares them.

Whatever their reasons, this is where the need to be pro-active comes in. You can try to change their minds, and you may well succeed. In my view though, there should be a limit as to how much time you spend trying to change their mind, and I don’t think it should be as long as others might think.

If you spend too long on it, you are signing up to their agendas rather than yours.

If there are people out there who *will* support you, but the people around you *won’t*, then you need to gravitate to the crowd that will, as soon as possible.

Am I saying you should simply discard people who don’t agree? Simply move away from people who don’t agree?

Well, yes and no! I understand that some of the most negative people around you can be the closest, both family and friends, and discarding people like that is not an easy thing. I’m not saying you should just breezily walk away.

What I *am* saying though, is that you need to be driving who you surround yourself with. It’s your choice, however much others may think it’s their choice, it’s not, it’s *your* choice.

If that’s the case, then use that choice, and choose carefully.

Surrounding yourself with people that support you can change your life, it really can transform it, so look around you – do you have the support you need, or do you need to go and find a new set of cheerleaders?

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think – do leave a comment!

‘Til next time,
Health & Happiness,
P.S. If you fancy stepping up your own goal achievement, why not grab my free 8 Step Goal Achievement Formula!
P.P.S. Also remember to connect with me via your social media channel of choice, mine is FB, buttons at top right of any page on the blog 😉

Do leave a comment!

Leave a Comment


  • Hey Gordon,
    I totally agree with you on those suggestions. It is often about their issues when something you want to do or something you talk about as your dream, becomes a conversation with them about their lack.

    I recently had a friend do this to me and saw that it was more about how they were feeling about the matter, even though it was about what was happening in my life. I also saw how negative they were about it and since have decided not to talk about it in future with this person if they bring it up.

    I think just giving a short answer will persuade them from diving in. I think it is the best idea to find your cheerleaders in your life, find the people who will support you and I also have decided a long time ago that sometimes you just have to be your own cheerleader.

    A great post for redirecting people away from negativity—well done-Jennifer

    • Thanks Jennifer!
      Oh yes, we should always be our own best cheerleader!
      I think that while we should tell anyone and everyone about our goals, as this can open up opportunities, if we get a negative response, we can engage with it for a while to change the view, but not for too long!
      Thanks for stopping by as ever!
      Cheers, Gordon