Sometimes The Best Healing You Can Give Is Just To Listen.

In this article I’m looking at another of my quote images, and I think it’s a point worth listening to…

I took that photo at Whitstable on the North Kent coast here in Britain. As I was walking along I could see this couple sitting at the top of a slope on the pebbled beach going down to the sea. I liked the way it looked with the simplicity of the two people breaking up the swathes of pebble versus water.

I have no idea what they’re saying. Is he doing the talking, or is she? Are they having a row? A joke? Is one of them really ill, or are they planning a holiday? Are they even talking at all, or just sitting with each other? Brother and sister? Old school friends?

Maybe they’re looking at a floater that’s just washed up on the beach? I just don’t know, and that’s part of the point of this article…

The vast majority of the content I create deals with ideas that can bring changes in *your* life, changes that can be transformational for you, which can also change the lives of those around you. This time though, I’m slightly twisting it to focus on how you can help others, which can have a positive benefit to you, and sometimes that help can come in the simplest of forms.

Sometimes the best healing you can give, is just to listen.

In his book ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’, John Gray covered the idea that when someone has a problem, a man will generally offer solutions to the problem, whereas although a woman will generally still be able to offer the solutions, she will hold back and just listen at first.

Gray goes on to say that men, in general, don’t really understand this concept, and that leads to a lot of anguish, because if it’s a woman with the problem, she just wants to be listened to first and foremost.

Now, there are some sweeping generalisations there, so much so that the point made in the book is often dismissed, and while this article is not about reviewing that one book, I can categorically say that as soon as I read it myself, I recognised that this was something I had done frequently – offering solution based advice when I fact it was listening that had been wanted.

Ever since reading that, I’ve tried to catch myself falling into it, and try and be quiet!
Shut it.
Zip it.
Button it.

It’s taken a lot of practice, and even now I can catch myself at it, but now instead of just shutting up totally, here’s what I do, and it’s a powerful technique which can have a huge impact on others…

I listen.

Now, you might think ‘well hang on, if you’re not shutting up totally, how can you say you’re listening?’ and that’s a good question!

I listen, with questions thrown in, if needed, to allow me to listen more.
It could be that someone doesn’t need any prompting, that they will carry on once they sense someone is listening, and they won’t stop, because their subconscious mind will be taking full advantage of the opportunity!

Sometimes someone might want to talk, and might have things lurking below the surface, and it might only take the simplest of ‘uh huhs or ‘how does that make you feel?’ to get the flow started.

This can be such a powerful release that it makes huge headway for someone, merely because someone listened to them.

It is important to remember that sometimes someone might just not want to talk, they might want to simply be quiet, but be quiet *with* someone, and if that’s the case, you can help by listening to them say nothing!

I still think advice, suggestions, solutions, are all wonderful things! They can be marvellous, and there’s nothing better than seeing the light go on in someone’s eyes when something hits home that the ‘real them’ can relate to.

However, to always switch on the advice mouth can be dominating, it can be intrusive, and it can sometimes be the last thing that someone needs.

Helping others is a great thing to do. It feels good, and can have positive effects both to you and those around you that you help. It’s sending out positive ripples, and it’s a positive thing to want to do, there is no doubt about that.

Trying to fix things for others is great, but as I’ve said elsewhere, you can’t control the whole universe, you really can’t so sometimes you should stop trying.

Sometimes the best healing you can give, is just to listen.

‘Would you like to talk about it?’ are words that can mean the world, and if you haven’t used them in a while, try it! You don’t even need to relate or understand when you listen. It’s possible that the listening might reveal things to you, and while it’s a key point that listening can impact your life, for now I’m talking about the impact you can have on others by simply listening. The impact, the healing, well, sometimes that can be life changing.

Ok, as ever I’d love to hear what you think – do leave a comment!

‘Til Next Time,
Health & happiness,
Gordon
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