I had seen an advert that had a picture of Gok Wan. Gok is a stylist, who came to fame via his TV show ‘How To Look Good Naked’, where he took women with low self esteem, and turned them round to liking their naked bodies without any surgery, but through attitude.
Make up tips, yes. Hair tips, yes. Clothing tips, yes, but the underlying change was an attitude change, and it started right at the beginning of each show.
He would get the woman to undress down to her underwear and stand in front of mirrors, which was a vulnerable tearful experience for most of them. They would say that they hated this part of their body, or that part, or all of it – that they could hardly bear to look at it themselves, never mind let anyone else see it.
Then Gok would get to work, and by the end of the session he would make a breakthrough which would underpin the rest of the process.
I remember one episode in particular, where he said to the woman that she didn’t always have to be the first to tell herself she wasn’t ok as she was. There would be plenty of others to do that for her, no need to put herself at the front of that queue.
He went on to tell her that instead, she should be the one leading the way with positivity towards herself, something that might be harder to find in others, but that would come easier if she went first.
She smiled, then burst into tears as she realised what she had been doing to herself mentally for years. You could see the change in her eyes, and it was a powerful demonstration of how quickly an attitude can be changed.
Relapses along the way? Yes, but that vital initial seed had been sewn.
Another part of the programme showed another massive self improvement tip, and again it involved the women in their underwear…
Gok showed the woman a line up of models, also in their underwear, of various sizes from small to large. He then asked his subject to place herself in the line up where she thought she fitted size wise.
The woman got it wrong, even after having a good look up and down the line, by putting herself at too big a size. Wrong by a good few inches, a good couple of dress sizes.
She couldn’t believe it when she found out, and without a stroke of surgery, Gok had taken inches off her size. Of course he hadn’t taken anything off in the actual fact, but in her mind he might just as well have done.
A simple change in attitude, backed up by hard facts, had made a huge impact on the self esteem of the woman. It had shattered negative misconceptions, and coupled with his previous pep talk about being positive rather than negative, the results were amazing.
At the end of each show, he would have the woman parade up and down in a shopping centre catwalk, strutting their stuff, loud and proud.
What a feel good show! What a way to make the point! So how is this related to goal achievement..?
Well, I’ve long written that a key element of goal achievement is attitude – not only do you have to believe that the goal will happen, but you also have to believe that you are worthy of the goal, that you deserve it. That’s a self esteem issue, so anything that improves self esteem improves your goal achievement chances.
Maybe you don’t have any particular goals, in which case the self esteem improvement is enough to put an extra spring in your step.
If you do have goals though, think of Gok’s technique – ask yourself how you are doing on the self esteem front. Are you the first in the queue with positivity towards yourself, or negativity? Have you got a misconception about yourself or your abilities that is clearly different to what others see?
You don’t have to strip off in front of a mirror (although do send me pictures if you do…), but do let me know what you think!
‘Til Next Time,
Health & Happiness,
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