If You Don’t Enjoy It, Why Are You Doing It..?

 

I’m taking another look at a quote image of mine in this article, and I hope you enjoy it…

 

"Gordon Bryan", "Whitstable"

 

I don’t hide the fact that I take a lot of photos of sunrises and sunsets for the quote images. I took that one down at Whitstable on the North Kent coast, and it’s a great place to see some lovely sunsets.

A great place to *enjoy* some lovely sunsets.

 

Taking in the fresh sea air and watching the sun go down over the sea does trigger the brain to see things in a wider perspective, to ask some questions of ourselves, so this time I ask this question –

 

If you don’t enjoy it, why are you doing it?

 

Now, while it might seem like a simple question, it’s clearly a question that’s dependent on any individual’s circumstances, and the answer can vary from ‘I don’t know,’ to ‘that’s just the way it is,’ to ‘I have to.’

 

Hmm.

 

I think any of those answers can be challenged.

If you don’t know why you keep doing something you don’t enjoy, then that might be the easiest one to solve – stop doing it!

 

If you stop doing it, you may well find that there’s no problem, and you’ve removed something from your life that you don’t enjoy – it really can be as simple as that!

Of course it could be that if you stop doing it, the other answers come into play, and someone tells you fairly quickly that it ‘has’ to be like that, you ‘have’ to do it.

 

This is an important point, if you answer that you keep doing it because you have to, who is saying you have to? Is it someone else, or is it *yourself*!

In either case, it’s important to fully investigate that reason of you ‘having’ to. Is it actually true? Is it just to fit into someone else’s agenda rather than it actually being a necessity that you do it?

 

Are you doing it, (and of course that includes thinking or saying things) just to please someone else – maybe a boss, a family member, your friends and peer groups?

Are you still doing something you don’t enjoy because you’re not confident in your ability to do what you *do* enjoy? Worried that others will laugh at you, or pull you down?

 

Blimey, you can see I wasn’t joking when I said there maybe many reasons why, both internal and external!

 

So, what can we do about it..?

 

Well, apart from making the choice to really take on answering the original question, which can be extremely revealing, we can twist the question around to ask –

 

‘If you enjoy doing something, why aren’t you doing it?’

 

You might think that will just give you the same answers, and it many cases it will, but it will also add a different flavour to the way you seek out an answer.

 

Once you take on the challenge of accepting *your* enjoyment as just as valid s anyone else’s, and you ask what you can do about doing more of what you enjoy, you’ll find that if the answer is that you should just *start* doing more of what you enjoy, then to get the space, the time, the freedom to do it, you might have to start saying ‘no’ to what you don’t enjoy.

 

Try saying ‘no.’

 

It can be much easier to say yes, to avoid any confrontation or upset, but in the long term it’s not easier at all, because it will bring a drip drip knowledge that you are cutting yourself off from your own enjoyment, due to what other people want.

 

Start saying ‘no.’

 

It can be scary to start saying no, but it won’t take long before you start getting used to it. It can bring consequences that might have to be dealt with, but you’ll start getting used to that too.

 

What will happen if you say ‘no?’
Maybe it’s time you found out?

 

It could be the small things in life, it could be the big things like a full career or other major lifestyle changes.

 

I always like to phrase it as ‘no thanks,’ because then you are have that inbuilt politeness to it, which can calm a lot of troubled waters. I also prefer to not spend too long justifying. Explaining is one thing, and that’s fine, but ‘justifying’ tends to imply that you are seeking the approval of someone else for your decision.

 

If you find yourself being pushed down the justifying road, then stick with the ‘no thanks’ response, and if you’re firm with it, other people will get used to the fact that if you don’t want to do it, you’ll just say so!

 

What about responsibilities?

 

That’s an important question, because what I’m *not* saying is that you should just drop any responsibility that you don’t enjoy doing!

 

I’m not saying that at all. Responsibilities are important, integrity towards them is important. So is integrity towards yourself though.

 

It can be a juggling act to change things around. Doing more of what you enjoy in place of things you don’t enjoy can be challenge to actually do something about.

 

It’s worth it though. Oh, it’s so worth it.

 

Doing things we don’t enjoy can drain the soul. Yes, they can also enrich the soul if it’s in the service of others, but we need to start the exercising of working out if it is actually serving others, or simply pleasing others while doing a *disservice* to ourselves.

 

So, I did say the question might be a little more complicated than it first seems, but it can be really life changing, so are you ready to look deeply at the answer as I ask again – if you don’t enjoy it, why are you doing it?

 

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think, do leave a comment!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like to find out more about moving from what you don’t enjoy to what you *do* enjoy, then take a look at my programme ‘Transform Your Life Now!’ where you can also get my free 8 step goal achievement formula!

 

 

 

 

The 3 R’s Are Great But How About These 3 B’s…

 

I’m looking at another quote image in this article, and I’m looking at some shocking spelling…

"Gordon Bryan", "personal development",

 

I took that photo down at Whitstable in Kent, watching a lovely sunset over the calm sea, and there’s a reason I think it goes nicely with the words.

 

The three Rs. The basis of a solid education. Reading, writing and arithmetic.

 

Now, once we move past the glaring fact that when talking about solid education it might be a good idea to get some basic spelling right (!), I’d say it *is* a solid basis of education, because if we learn to do those three, we can not only understand a lot, but we will have developed the analytical skills involved in *thinking*.

 

First appearing around a hundred years ago, the phrase rolls off the tongue, which is why we can allow the errors to stay, but are these the only skills involved in thinking?

 

No. Clearly not, and that’s the point I’m getting at in this article.

 

Reading, writing and arithmetic tend to be based on logic and facts, but ‘thinking’ is also made up with emotion. It’s also made up with who we are as individuals, our passions, our joys, our feelings.

 

How we educate children is always a subject for debate, and something that’s often levelled as a criticism of the 3 R basis, is that it favours those children who have their brains set up in a certain way, and it doesn’t do enough to take into account those other emotional factors, which might be stronger in other children.

 

The criticism then follows, that it’s a system that churns out cookie cutter drones, who might be able to run off their 12 times table, but have no idea how to express themselves, or investigate their passions, or develop an awareness of their place in society and connection to others.

 

So, we end up with ‘academic’ people and ‘non academic’ people – labels which can have far reaching impact on people’s lives.

 

I’ve long been an advocate of self education. Too many people think that ‘education’ is something that stops as soon as we leave school, but that way of thinking does a disservice. A massive disservice to both ourselves and others.

 

Let’s take a look then, at my suggestion for 3 Bs to go along with the 3 Rs. Note that I don’t say *instead* of the 3 Rs, but to go along with them…

 

1. Be nice to others. Sounds obvious, right? Many people, I’d say the majority of people *are* nice to others too. It’s a default setting, it makes the world an easier place, and if we’re nice to others, it tends to get reflected back with others being nice back to us!

 

It’s not always like that though, is it? Why are some people not nice to others?

 

Clearly upbringing is important, which of course brings us back to education, both at school, and *since* school. Many people simply aren’t aware that they aren’t being nice, or if they do know it, they aren’t aware of the concept of self improvement, personal development, change.

 

2. Be positive. Instead of viewing the world, and ourselves, in a negative light, why not view things in a positive light? It might not change the immediate facts, but it does change our response to the facts, and it does change the actions we are likely to take moving forwards, as we start to change the internal models we have in our brains.

 

This ties in with the third B…

 

3. Be yourself. As you view the world around you, and your place in it, are you doing so from a ‘central base’ position of the real you? Are you in touch with the authentic you, the one you know is the real thing, or are you pretending?

 

The pretending is something way too many people do. They do it maybe to please other people, friends, family, society, or maybe they do it because they are fearful of the alternative. Fearful of being laughed at, or ridiculed, being dropped by people who might not agree. Or simply fearful of failing.

 

This is not something that’s always easy to overcome. In fact sometimes it can be really hard, because before we can start to make changes, we need to become aware of the real us, and if that’s not something we learnt at school, and didn’t learn it outside school from our surroundings, then when will we learn it?

 

That’s where we come back to education, and self education as adults. The internet allows us an abundance of opportunity to find learning materials to develop ourselves, and also ways of connecting with likeminded people. The encouragement is there, the tools are all there.

Going back to the picture, I often go down to that stretch of coast to watch the setting sun. I know that soaking up the fresh sea air as the day cools is invigorating for me, so I’ve decided that it’s something I should do regularly.

That’s being nice to myself, it’s being aware of being myself, and making the effort to schedule it, is me being positive.

 

If we go on that journey, whatever that journey is for you, then we become more in touch with the real us, and allow ourselves to *be* ourselves. If it’s as simple as more short car trips to get to the seaside, then do it. If it’s more complicated, needing a deeper journey of personal development and discovery, then do it!

 

This brings with it the positive outlook to life, to what we want to do with life, and as we become nicer to ourselves, it’s an inevitability that this will ripple out into us being nicer to other as well.

 

So, the 3 Rs? Yes, they are great, important and all well and good, but I hope you agree that my 3 Bs make nice addition to the set! Be nice to others, be positive, and be yourself – it really can change lives.

 

Ok, do let me know what you think, and feel free to hit the share button if you think it’s a message with value for others!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like to find out more about using these 3 B’s then pop over and grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula!

P.P.S. Also come over and take a peek at my FB page Transform Your Life Now!

 

 

 

 

Small Breaks In Integrity Don’t Matter, Right..?

In this article I’m looking at one of my quote images dealing with integrity…

"Gordon Bryan", "integrity",

 

Small breaks integrity don’t matter, right? Er, wrong.

 

Ah integrity.

 

In my mind, even the word itself sounds good. For me it brings up thoughts of ‘doing the right thing’, which has me nodding my head, thinking how much better everything is when we act that way.

 

There are various definitions of ‘integrity’ – for me it boils down to treating other people properly. Being considerate to others, allowing them to have their own opinion, to do their own things.

It means talking about them from a position of respect, saying nothing behind someone’s back for example that you wouldn’t say to their face. It means not harming others, or their property, or their rights.

It means working hard at what you do, even when no-one’s watching. If an employer is paying you to do a job, you do that job.

 

I also believe that a key angle when thinking about integrity, is acting with integrity towards *ourselves*. If we look after our own opinions, our own goals, if we treat ourselves properly, we are acting with integrity. If we talk to ourselves about ourselves from that position of respect, that’s integrity.

 

If we put in as much work on ourselves as we do for our employer or others, even if we don’t feel like it, that’s integrity.

 

All sounds great doesn’t it, all well and good! That’s because I think it *is* great! When we act with integrity, we not only make the world a better place for ourselves, we make it a better place for others too.

 

If that’s the case then, why would anyone act without integrity..?

That’s a good question, and it forms the basis of the point I’m making in this article.
We act without integrity when it becomes difficult, when we can’t be bothered.

Sometimes we don’t have the time, or life in general is shoving a load of stress our way. In times like that, thinking of others is not quite the easy rainbow it might be when just thinking of the word!

 

This also applies to that integrity towards ourselves. If we find it difficult to go for our goals, if we hit an obstacle, it feels easier to just give up. We might like the idea of being on a diet to lose weight, but the thought of that chocolate means it’s ok to have some, and the diet can wait until tomorrow.

 

There is no doubt, acting with integrity can be hard! That’s why we slip, that’s why we have those breaks in integrity. The small breaks, they don’t matter though, right?

 

Er, wrong!

 

The small breaks *do* matter, for two reasons.
Firstly, it sometimes only needs a small break in integrity to have a big impact, either on ourselves or on others.

The wrong words at the wrong time, the wrong action at the wrong time – the power of these is not to be dismissed. It can take a long time to put right the damage that can be caused by these small breaks.

 

The second reason that the small breaks matter, is that they are the little cracks in the dam. If we get used to the little breaks being ok, then the little breaks become the norm, so we can add new little breaks to them.

It doesn’t take too long before the breaks come together, and the whole dam of integrity collapses, and we just do away with the whole idea.

 

That’s not good, to put it mildly. When we do away with integrity altogether, the world becomes a worse place, a worse place for ourselves, and a worse place for those around us, and it’ll be our own doing!

 

It’s not all doom and gloom though!

 

You’ll know by now that I choose to take the positive way of looking at life, so here’s what I think we should do about the small breaks in integrity…

 

In an ideal world, we shouldn’t have any breaks in integrity at all, but I know that none of us live in cloud cuckoo land, so we have to accept that breaks in integrity *will* happen.

 

The first way to deal with it, is to simply accept that fact, that the breaks will happen. The good side of the breaks happening, is that we *see* them as breaks, because that means that the break in integrity is not the norm, it’s integrity that’s the norm!

 

Once we accept that, we can then deal with it by getting annoyed with ourselves! I get really annoyed with myself if I think I’ve acted without integrity, either towards myself or others. I can find it quite upsetting.

 

However, I use that annoyance and frustration with myself to close the break! If we take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, we can go to the second move for dealing with the breaks, which is to decide to not accept the integrity break as the norm, but to decide to do our very best to not let it happen again.

 

That involves work, because it means we have to analyse what happened, and prepare ourselves to act differently next time. It can be an effort, but of course, to put in that effort is in itself to act with integrity!

 

I find this whole idea a key lifestyle issue. It may sound corny to talk about acting with integrity. It may sound corny to talk about not settling for breaks in integrity as being ok.

 

If it sounds corny, then so be it, because I believe it’s a game changer – it’s quite simply a path to a better life, and it why I say something I’ve said before, and will be saying again, that the small breaks in integrity *do* matter!

 

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think, do leave a comment!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

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In this article I’m taking another personal development look at one of my quote images, and for this one you might need your climbing boots…

"Gordon Bryan", "personal development",

 

“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there” – Vince Lombardi.

 

Right from the get go, let me say that yes, yes, I know the picture is not of a mountain! I took that picture on Ailsa Craig in Scotland, and I’ll come back to that later, and tell you why it still works with the quote!

 

What a quote it is too! Vince Lombardi came up with some crackers, and it’s no surprise that his motivational skills were held in such high esteem.

 

Coach of the Green Bay Packers for pretty much the whole of the 1960s, he took them to the top of the game, winning the first 2 Superbowls. After he died in 1970, the NFL named the trophy after him, so right up to this day, it’s the Lombardi Trophy that the teams play for.

 

It’s one of the biggest events in world sport. It’s not a global event to take *part* in as its just a national league, but it’s one of the most *watched* global events, and it bears Vince’s name.

 

So, how did he get take his team and himself to the top of the game? Well, in one word – work.

 

Work.

 

Yes, he had refreshing tactical skills, and those motivational skills, but the motivation was to get the players to work.

He had a ferocious work ethic, and expected the players to have the same. Any player that didn’t, well they weren’t his player for long!

 

This is why I love the quote so much, because if you think of a man at the bottom of a mountain, and imagine him trying to fall to the top, he’ll just fall to the ground! So, if that’s not going to get it done, the only way is to start climbing.

 

You decide to climb, you learn how to climb, you prepare to climb, but all of that will get you precisely nowhere, you’ll still be at the bottom of the mountain, unless you put your first foot somewhere, and your first hand somewhere. Then you had better get ready for the hard work!

 

Too many people go for the falling down option, then moan about the fact that others are at the top of the mountain! Oh really? Why would that be then?

 

Is it because life is unfair, difficult, with barriers in the way? Or is it because you weren’t prepared to work?
Now, I’m not saying that life is always fair, that it’s always easy, that there aren’t barriers, that would be silly.

What I *am* saying though, is that work, hard work, lots of hard work, can take you to the places you want to go.

 

I like another quote from a current motivational leader, Brendon Burchard, who says we should not be surprised that when opportunity knocks, it’s hard work that answers the door!

 

I call ‘action’ one of the 4 magic words beginning with ‘A’, because without it, you really shouldn’t be surprised if you don’t get the results.

 

I did say I’d go back to my use of that particular photo of mine rather than one of a mountain…

 

Well, for a start, I haven’t *taken* any photos of mountains (yet), but nevertheless I think this photo works.

Ailsa Craig is where all the curling stones come from, and since it’s a sporting passion for me (yes I love the NFL too!), I made the trip of several hundred miles to go and see the actual place.

 

I could have stayed at home, looking at other people’s photos, wishing I had gone, or I could make the effort, take the action, and get on and go myself. That’s what I did.

As it happened, the weather was kind, and I was able to take picture from dawn to dusk, and it’s a day that will be a special memory for me. That didn’t happen by sitting on the couch at home.

 

When I went over to the rock, which is a few miles off the coast, I could see that tower up there. Actually it’s nowhere near the top of the rock, but the angles of the photo drive home how difficult it must have been to get it built!

 

To get that tower built all the way up there would taken a lot of…yep…work.!

 

Whoever built it could have just been lying down at the bottom, moaning about why someone else hadn’t done it, or how life was unfair – but they didn’t.

 

Look to your own goals – what do you want to do in life? What would tap into your joys and passions, what makes you feel alive? It could be climbing to the top of an *actual* mountain – I’ll happily admit that’s not at the top of my own list, but if it is, then of course you’ll need to work hard, and talking of actual mountain climbing…

 

Success won’t be guaranteed. You might not get to the top. It could be that the weather is too bad. It could be that you get frostbite. It could be that an ice ledge gives way. Despite all the work you put in, these outside factors cannot be controlled.

 

Mountaineering is dangerous, and if it goes wrong, it can be fatal. No guarantees of success, but still needing the work, and that’s another reason why Vince Lombardi’s mountain quote works so well.

 

To wrap up this look at the quote and the image, once you’ve got to the top of the mountain, does the work stop?

 

Er, no, the work carries on! In the case of being on an actual mountain, often the work getting back down again can be ever harder work than getting up there. The effort has to be maintained – switch it off, and it can all fall apart pretty quickly!

 

So as I say, your goal might not be mountaineering! Whatever it is though, are you prepared to work? It might be hard, it might be difficult, it might be unpleasant. That means you might decide you don’t want the work.

 

That’s fine, as long as you accept that as a choice you’ve made, and accept the lack of results that follow.

 

Or you could decide that you *are* ready for the work. It will put you ahead, miles ahead, of others who don’t put in the work, and it really can take you to some heights that will amaze you.

 

Try it, the view up there can change your life, it can *transform* it!

 

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think as ever – do leave a comment below.

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like to find out more about how to further your *own* climb, then pop over and grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula!

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Here’s another closer look at one of my quote images, and it’s another simple one…

 

"Gordon Bryan", "self improvement",

 

If you want something to happen in your life but don’t know how, you can:
1) Give up.
2) Learn how.

 

I said it was one of the simpler ones! It’s a simple image – no fancy photos, no fancy graphics, just a few words on a background, with a fairly stark choice.

Is the actual *message* simple though? Well, it’s put simply, and it seems simple at first glance, but there’s value in taking a closer look at the layers behind the message…

 

When I say ‘if you want something to happen in your life,’, I’m predominantly talking about goals. That could be in any area – lifestyle, relationships, wealth, career, or health. It could something would need someone *else* to act differently.

 

Obviously it’s an individual thing, but for the point behind this article, let’s take it as something you think ‘oh I wish’ about, ok?

 

Oh, I wish…

 

The reason most people stay at the ‘I wish’ level, instead of doing something about it, is that they go for the first of the 2 choices.

 

They give up.

 

They give up because they don’t know how to do it. They don’t even know how to learn how to do it, or maybe don’t even know that they *can* learn how to do it!

There are many reasons for people taking this option, and although the ‘not knowing how’ is put out as the *reason*, that’s not the real reason. It can’t be the real reason, because unless they are the first person ever to want what they want (unlikely) then someone else will have done it before.

 

That means the knowledge is out there, which means it can be learnt.

So, if that’s not the real reason behind giving up, what is?

 

I’d say it’s mostly fear. Fear of it being difficult. Difficult to even learn how to do, then difficult to go and do it!

 

Difficult to put up with people laughing at you, or trying to hold you back. Difficult to cope with the change it may bring. Difficult to cope with possible setbacks along the way, and difficult to cope with the potential for failure. Difficult to deal with possible finance issues that go with it.

 

Phew, that sounds difficult!
Easy to see why people hide behind an excuse of ‘not knowing how’.

 

The truth is, it *might* be difficult to go for what you truly want in life. In fact, it’s more likely to involve difficulty than not!

That’s just the way it is, although that doesn’t make it reason enough to not go for it. Not if you really want it. Not if the reasons behind you wanting it are solid enough, because then you’ll take the difficulties as sign of progress towards your goal.

 

Once you get these mindset issues sorted, get your underlying reasons for wanting your goal clear in your mind, (and written down!), then you start to generate your own motivation, your own desire, and your own action, and this will prompt you to take the second option instead…

 

You learn how.

 

Oh, that’s exciting!

 

Not only do you believe the fact that you can learn how, you believe in your own ability to learn how. If that means asking for help, and it probably will, then ask for help!

 

If it means taking on difficulties I mentioned earlier, you’ll take them on, because learning how to make something happen in your life is such a vital step in actually getting things to happen, that once you take the step, that in itself is action which sets the wheels in motion.

Then habit kicks in, which in turn fuels the self perpetuating motivation engine, and you are off and running!

 

Did I say that it’s exciting!

 

If you’re reading this article, then you have access to the internet, and I often call that a staggering abundance of opportunity. Before the internet, in order to learn how to do things, we’d have to buy a physical book, or go to live training, and it wasn’t always easy to know where to start to look for the best teaching.

 

Now with the internet, the knowledge is available to us at the click of a few buttons!
It’s unbelievable.

 

It could be that you still have to pay to learn, whether that’s an ebook, a course perhaps, or maybe one to one coaching, but the knowledge is not hard to access, and more than that we can also find out *where* the best knowledge is! We can compare various options and resources, do some research before deciding on the learning road that suits us.

 

Then, and you won’t be surprised to hear me say this, it’s down to us!

In my case, it’s down to me, In your case, it’s down to you.

 

It’s down to you to take responsibility for whether you decide to learn or not. No-on else can make that choice for you, and it *is* a choice!

 

So, look to the things you want in life – do you know how to do them? If you do, then you should be getting on with it(!) but for the point of this article, if you *don’t* know how to do it, which choice are you going to make?

 

Are you going to give up, or are you going to learn how? Here’s a clue to finish with- if you’ve read to the end of this article, you’ve already answered the question: you’re a learner! Now go out and apply it to your goals!

 

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think as ever – do leave a comment!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like some deeper help into the learning, the taking action, the asking, then pop over and grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula!

P.P.S. Also make sure you come over and connect via my Facebook profile!

 

 

 

For this look at another of my personal development images, I’m going with a wonderful thought…

 

"Gordon Bryan", "Coldrum Stones",

 

I took that photo in Kent, UK, at a place called the Coldrum Stones. It’s an ancient burial site, and the photo was taken at sunrise just before the summer solstice. (Going to these places on the *actual* summer solstice is disappointingly best avoided these days – the traffic is horrendous, and the places are swarming with hippies!)

 

If you go a day or so beforehand though, you get the full peace and quiet of the dawn and the sunrise. In a word, it’s magnificent.

 

You can hear the sounds around you as nature wakes up, and the air has that fresh feel to it, a feel of the ‘new.’

That’s why I chose that picture to go with the words…

 

“This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.”

 

Those words are a quote from the American writer Maya Angelou. She had a lovely poetic way with her words, and this quote is no exception.

It’s a great way of putting it, isn’t it! When you combine it with the thought of breathing in the ‘new’ air of the dawn, as the sun rises once again, and it’s well worth considering the two parts of the quote.

 

The first part says ‘This is a wonderful day.’ I’d add to that by saying ‘and why not!’
Why *shouldn’t* it be a wonderful day? Why can’t it be? Therefore, why won’t it be!

Now, I can hear the doubters piping up, that it’s not always as simple as that, we don’t actually live in fairy tales or nursery rhymes, and thinking that a day will be wonderful just because we say so, is a childish approach.

 

Hmm…

 

I’d respond by saying that it’s perfectly true to say that we don’t live in actual fairy tales! Life can be hard, I’m not saying it can’t be. Life can be *extremely* hard.

I’m not saying that any hardships or difficulties will disappear just because we say the day is going to be wonderful. That would clearly be nonsense, but one of the main reasons why people dismiss the entire personal development field is that they think that personal development writers, speakers or coaches *are* saying that!

 

Yes, life can be difficult, but if we can’t always control those difficulties, we can always control how we react to them, and that’s a key point here. If we choose, and it is a choice, if we choose to accept that difficulties will happen in life, but choose to focus on the positives and deal with the negatives, then the difficulties become easier. Now that *is* something a lot of people in the self improvement field say, and there’s some brain science to back it up!

 

That brain science is to do with the neural pathways and internal models in our brain. If we focus on the negatives, we build up an internal model which has the negative slant, and consequently we have that as the default setting when our brain interprets the input from the world around us.

 

We can change that model. It might take a while and practice, but if we decide to do it, then we make the effort to view the input from the world in a positive way, and this will gradually change our internal models to have a positive slant.

Yes, life can be hard and difficult, but it can also be glorious and wonderful, and we need to be open to seeing the joyful parts.

 

That’s where the philosophical concept of thinking it’s a wonderful day combines with actual brain science, and that’s when it gets exciting!

 

This brings me to the second part of the quote…

 

“I’ve never seen this one before.”

 

I find that beautifully put, because none of us have, have we? We all face a new day with the same 24 hours, but we’re 24 hours older, and the earth has spun – in other words, things have changed.

Other people will have changed, other circumstances will have changed. Some of the changes will have nothing to do with us, some of the changes will have been deliberately engineered by us. However, none of us have seen *this* day before.

 

As you read this, whenever, you read it , wherever you read it, you won’t have seen this day before. You won’t see it again either.

When you think of it like that, doesn’t it make sense to go through the days with a sense of wonder at how they will go, choosing to view things in a positive way?

 

The day will only be around for one day, then it’ll be gone, so I think Maya hit the spot with her wonderful words – “This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.”

 

Do let me know what you think – I love the feedback!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & Happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like to find out more about how to make sure you take advantage of the wonderful days, pop over and grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula

 

 

 

We Don’t Stop Playing Because We Grow Old…

In this article I’m looking at another of my quote images, and it’s a playful point…

"Gordon Bryan", "personal development",

 

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing”

 

That’s from George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist, and what a quote it is!

 

It’s well used in the personal development space, and it’s not hard to see why – it flows nicely, the phrase has a ying yang balanced feel to it, and it very concisely makes a point that prods an emotional response.

 

It prods and stirs at an emotion we get when we think back to the old days, the days of our youth, the days when we could play with abandon. The days when we could play without inhibition, the days when we could play unburdened by responsibility.

 

The days when we could play.

 

We look back to those days, because we *have* to look back, because that’s where we find those days, in the past. It’s not like that now for us though, is it?

Now, we’ve grown older, so playing is not on the agenda. We*have* the responsibilities, so we have to be serious and focus, we have to be sensible, we have to be ‘grown up’.

 

Really? Do we? Why?

 

Most people, clearly not everyone, but most people, don’t ask the ‘why’ question, they just accept it as one of those things, as just the way life is. It really doesn’t have to be like that though, there are other ways…

 

You might be thinking ‘Hang on! Hang on a minute! Are you suggesting that we should just forget responsibility and go and play on the swings?’

No, I’m not suggesting that. That would be silly. It *is* the way that some people choose to go, but they are doing a disservice to those around them when they do it, and they’re doing a disservice to themselves as well.

 

In fact, if you ‘play’ all the time, then it stops feeling like playing anyway, and then what do have left if you’ve ignored responsibility along the way!

So, no, I’m certainly not suggesting an abandonment of responsibility! What I *am* saying, is that if we take that idea of responsibility, and turn it back onto ourselves, don’t we have a responsibility to allow ourselves to play? Don’t we owe it to ourselves to not only allow it, but actively schedule time slots specifically for playing?

 

Oh yes! Yes we do owe it to ourselves!

When we play, it’s a great way to tap into our real selves, to get away from the things that bother us, and if that means we mentally take ourselves back to childhood for a while, that’s no bad thing!

 

It allows us to refocus, to re-energise, to remind ourselves of what our real passions are, what makes us feel alive, and of course to look at Shaw’s words again, it helps to stop us grow old! (or at least stop growing old before our time!)

 

One theory in the self improvement field is that when we play, because we are tapping so much into our ’real’ selves, that we should use this as a process – once we reignite that feeling, and acknowledge it, we should then work out how we can make a living doing it!

 

That can be a revelation.

 

I’ve done it in my time, from working in the music business, from working as an entertainer – I chose to make a living from what touched the real me.

 

Of course a counter argument to that, is that as soon as we start making our pleasures into our work, then we ruin the pleasure, because the trials and tribulations that come with any career will make us turn away from the original passion.

 

Hmm, I don’t agree.

 

I do agree that the trials and tribulations will come, because to say otherwise would be fantasy, and I experienced it in the music business, I experienced it as an entertainer, I experienced it myself being self employed. Oh yes, they come!

 

Here’s the thing – those trials and tribulations will come *whatever* we do! If that’s the case then, why not choose to face them on a path of our choosing, because if we do that, then deep down we will always know that we didn’t stop playing, that we are in line with our passions.

 

It makes a huge difference, it can transform a life from one where the idea of playing has been stored away in a box marked ‘youth’ to a life where the idea of playing is front and centre!

 

Of course, the idea of playing doesn’t have to be as grand as a fully fledged career, it could just be a case of doing more of what we enjoy as hobbies. Think of what you enjoy doing, that makes you smile, whether that’s a walk in the park, or going swimming.

 

If it’s been too long since you last did it, get out your schedule, and create a time slot for it! Then schedule another time slot, and another. The feelgood factor it creates is not just nostalgia, there is brain science behind it, to do with the chemical reactions triggered in our brain, and the health benefits that brings along.

 

A more in depth look at that brain science is for another time, but suffice to say – it’s good for us!

 

Get used to allowing yourself to play, whatever that means to you. It’s not something we should stop simply because we’ve grown older – I’d agree with Bernard Shaw, it’s the playing that *stops* us growing old!

 

Ok, I’d love to hear what you think – do leave a comment!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. Do pop over and connect via my FB page Transform Your Life Now!

 

 

 

 

I’m looking at another of my quote images, and it might be a case of smoothing the corners…

 

"Halnaker", "Gordon Bryan",

 

I took that picture of a lovely tree tunnel. I had seen pictures of the tree tunnel before, and when I found out where it was, I took the 2 hours odd drive to Halnaker in West Sussex, and got snapping!

 

When I started to make my quote images, the idea of wondering was at the end of any tunnel seemed to work for me, so I’ve used it as a starting point to look at fear of moving forwards…

 

There are many fears that stop people moving forwards, and the fear of change is right up there on the list!

 

Change is inevitable if we set out on the path of self improvement, personal development and goal achievement. That may seem obvious, because in order for results to change, the actions have to change, and in order for actions to change, attitude has to change.

 

That’s a lot of change, and it scares the living daylights out of a lot of people!

 

It’s so scary, because the changes will move life away from the present circumstances which we are used to, towards a life which we cannot predict. Yes, we can make educated guesses, and we may be fairly sure about the changes, but it could be argued that we can’t be *sure.

 

Of course some personal development or goal achievement moves will involve changes that might be real leaps in the dark, that we genuinely don’t know what will happen.

 

It might be a change in our circle of friends, or how family views us. It might mean a job change, or change in living arrangements. It might mean moving to a completely new area, or another country!

 

It might a change in lifestyle habits, or a change from the safety net of a regular pay check to the uncertain world of self employment.

 

It could be it’s the change in ‘ourselves’ that the progress would bring that scares us the most.

 

So, having covered all the possible changes, and accepting that the unknown can be scary, it’s no surprise that it stops people moving forwards at all, right?

 

Well, no, it’s no surprise, but sometimes it’s used as an *excuse*, and it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are ways of dealing with the fear of change, and here’s something else that isn’t a surprise, I’ve going to cover 2 of them..!

 

Firstly, since fear of possible change is just that, fear of *possible* change, it might be helped by simply looking at it in a different way – that it might not be as bad as you think!

 

If we think back to how many times in our life we have said ‘oh, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,’ it will be a *lot* of times! Fears over the future simply turn out to be not bas bad as we thought, more often than not. I’m not saying there will never be changes that we don’t like, but we just don’t need to let the fear of it hold us back.

 

It’s wasted energy, and it’s misplaced energy.

 

The second way I like to view the fear of change is to view it as *opportunity* of change instead!

Remember, the particular fears I’m talking about come about when we look at personal development, at setting goals. The whole point of us going through that process is to bring our lives more back in line with our passions, our joys, our soul.

 

If that’s the case, then the changes around the corner should be looked forward to rather than feared, because it means we are on the road to the more fulfilling life for ourself – yes, it will be a change, but it will be a *good* change!

 

We can take the attitude of ‘oh, I wonder what it will look like?’ with excitement rather than trepidation, because if we are directing the change, and we find we don’t like it, we can change it again!

 

That’s the key – if we let fear of change keep us stuck where we are, then we will still get buffeted by the circumstances life throws at us. That’s just the way it is, and sometimes it’s not always pleasant, so instead of that why *not* choose to be in control, to set changes in progress that *we* want, that we have decided on and acted towards.

 

It’s a much better way to look at it, in my view.

 

So, look to your own tree tunnel in life, the journey along the way can be soaked up and enjoyed, and if you’re worried because you’re not sure what’s around the corner – it might not be anywhere near as bad as you think. I’ve said it before, and I’ll finish by saying it again, get round there and find out!

 

Ok, I’d love to know what you think – do leave a comment!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & Happiness,

Gordon

P.S. If you’d like to find out more about moving forwards, don’t forget to grab my free 8 step goal achievement formula!

 

 

 

 

Here’s another look at a quote image, and this one goes right to the heart of any changes we want…

"Gordon Bryan", "self improvement",

 

No way to sugar coat this one – without action it’s not going to happen.

 

No nice image behind this one. It’s a simple set of words. An uncompromising set of words, which as they say themselves, have no sugar coating.

 

I’ve chosen to put it that way, because it *is* all about the action. I call it one of the 4 magic words beginning with ‘A’, and it’s clear that for something to change, something has to happen that’s different. If nothing different happens, then nothing will change.

 

I don’t know what your goal is, naturally, but if you look at anyone who has achieved it before, the road to them achieving it is covered in action steps.

 

The naysayers, and I can hear them now, might be saying ‘oh, I can’t take action until so and so does this, or until such and such happens first, or because this and/or that is stopping me!’

 

If someone says that, I always think of the response of starting to ask questions –
– Is that actually true, or is that being used as an excuse to not take action?
– If it’s true that other circumstances, including other people, need to be set up differently before you can take action, what can *you* do to get those circumstances in place?

 

It could be that you are looking at an action too far down the road, looking at the obstacles in the way, when in fact it’s dealing with the obstacle that should be your first action!

 

I do accept that actions of others will have an impact on us. That’s clearly true, and to say otherwise would be nonsense. However, if we rely solely on the actions of others to move us forwards, then you are opening ourselves up to the unpredictability of, well, others! We are signing up to *other* people’s agendas if we rely on them alone.

 

It can bring amazing results if we tell others what we want, and the power of simply asking is a massively underused one. (You won’t be surprised to hear me say that ‘ask’ is another of those magic ‘A’ words!)

 

Will action *always* bring results? Well, that’s a good question!

 

Since there are no guarantees in life, you can’t always definitively say that taking action towards a goal will bring success, but you can say for certain that it will bring *something*!

It will bring a change of some sort though, always, and if that change doesn’t move you towards your goal, you can then assess the results, make adjustments, and then take more action!

 

You can likewise say that if you’re questioning the link between action and results, you can also be fairly sure of what happens in you take no action – nothing!

 

If you don’t take action, if you keep doing what you’ve done before, you’ll keep getting the results you’ve got before. If you’re happy with those results, then fine, and whether you take action or not is always a choice, but as long as you take responsibility for that choice, and the results it brings.

 

If we didn’t take action towards a result, we can’t moan about the lack of result that follows.

 

I’d also say that it’s quite possible that the first action we need to take is on our mindset! If we don’t believe that the results are even possible, or that we are worthy of them, then we are unlikely to take action, which will perpetuate those beliefs.

 

If we make the decision to put in whatever work it needs to change those beliefs, to change our mindset, then this is action taking at its’ finest, because it sets us up not only to start taking action, but to push forwards with the results it brings.

 

Exciting, do you agree..?

 

So, why is the message put across in the image so bluntly? Why the need to point out the lack of sugar coating? Is it basically saying ‘Get off your backside!’

 

Well, pretty much, yes!

 

Don’t moan about lack of results if you took no action.
Don’t expect others to do it for you, and blame them when they don’t.
Take control. Look to your goals, and work out the very next step you would need to take to move towards them, and then accept that’s it down to you, and act on that first step.

 

Once you do that, you’ll see the movement in your life. You might need to make adjustments along the way, you might go down some wrong paths, but it’s *all* moving forwards as you learn.

Momentum kicks in when you take action. Habit kicks in when you take action repeatedly. This feeds motivation, which brings more action, which in turn brings more momentum.

 

Did I say that’s exciting?

 

Try it, and if you’re already trying it, keep going. It can change your life, it can transform it!

 

Do let me know what you think, I love the feedback!

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & happiness,

Gordon

P.S. I did mention my other article 4 Magic Words Beginning With ‘A!’

P.S. If you’d like some help with taking action, take a look at my Transform Your Life Now! coaching programme

 

 

 

 

 

Coaching Birthday Offer

I have a landmark birthday in 2016, so I decided to create a special offer for my coaching programme, to go with it.

 

I made a short video to explain it, and below the video I’ve gone over how you can take advantage of it:

 

Because it’s a special offer, only available for 50 days, the way to go about it, is for you to sign up for the normal price of $29, let me know that you’ve taken advantage of my birthday offer, and I’ll refund you the $28.

 

I hope that make sense, it’s the easiest way to get on board.

I’d love to see you on the inside, and that you’ll enjoy a month’s worth of coaching for just $1!

 

Here’s the link:

http://www.transformyourlifenow.com

 

‘Til Next Time,

Health & Happiness,

Gordon

 

 

 

 

 

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