I’m looking at the personal development point in another quote image for this article – I hope you think it’s a good one…
Good or bad, your now is not your all.
It’s easy to find ourselves in a bad patch, and think that it will never end. When I say ‘bad patch‘, I realise that it’s a pretty vague definition -a ‘bad patch’ can range from just a few things going wrong all at once, to a sustained period of difficulties or stress, to full blown depression.
I accept that, and just the same as a lot of people, I’ve known them all!
That’s kind of my point…
I’ve known them, but as I write this article, I wouldn’t say I was in any of those phases. (Of course, who knows when you’ll be *reading* it, but all I can go on is the time I’m writing it!)
I’ve known those times, but this isn’t one of them. They passed.
Let’s look on the other side of the coin, the cheerful, the positive, the happy – I’ve known those phases too, being madly in love, in a superb job full of passion, or maybe enjoying a wonderful experience just enjoying nature, or maybe being on a stage in front of hundreds of people.
Those times were marvellous when they happened, and they left marvellous memories, but they passed nonetheless.
The passing of these phases is *inevitable.* It may not feel like it, but it is.
When we’re stuck in one of those bad times I mentioned, it really can feel as though the world has come to an end. The light at the end of the tunnel can be so hard to imagine, let alone see, that it feels like the bad time is just the way it’s going to be forever.
As hard as it may be to focus on alternatives at this point, if we develop the habit of doing just that, then we build a resource we can call on to help us through those bad times.
So, how exactly do we build that resource..?
Well, for a start, the way we *don’t* do it, is by pretending that we’re happy! If we try and force ourselves to be happy by looking at a memory of previous happiness, for example, this can fail in all sorts of ways! Firstly, it tends not to work, because it tells our mind that by remembering previous good times, we are reminding ourselves of the bad times happening right now! That’s not what we want to do!
Secondly, it starts to create a situation where when we think of the past good times, we are tying that memory to us trying to force ourselves out of a bad time! It can tarnish the good memory!
No, the way we do it, is by starting with acceptance.
We accept that we are going through a difficult time. It might be a short phase, or something more long term. It might be something that has a clear ending or solution, or something that is less clear.
Whatever it may be, we need to accept it. As soon as we accept it, along with the acceptance that bad times come to everyone, it lessens the weight of it on our shoulders. Now, that might sound terribly simplistic, but if you think it’s too simplistic, I’d suggest that maybe you’ve not actually tried it.
It works, and it works because it stops the brain feeling as though it has to make sense of it all, which in turn lessens the stress, which lessens the adrenaline flow, which lessens the stress further and we start to reduce the cycle of fight or flight.
As it happens, that can also help to bring about an end to the bad time itself, because it frees up your mental energy and allows space for solutions to come into focus.
Once we accept the bad time, we can then think to the message in the image – good or bad, your now is not your all.
There will come a time in the future, when you realise that this current bad time has passed. It probably won’t feel like it at the moment, but here’s the thing, it won’t have felt like it during the previous bad times either! And yet they passed!
The good times didn’t last forever, the bad times didn’t last forever.
The current bad time won’t last forever and, just as importantly, the good times won’t either!
That’s why it’s important that we soak up the good times, just as we make sure we don’t over-imagine the bad times.
We want to be looking back on the good times, knowing that we enjoyed them to the full, that we took advantage while we had it. I often say that life isn’t always rainbows and sequins, so when it is we should soak those suckers up!
So, look to the good times *you’ve* had, look to the bad times *you’ve* had. They didn’t last forever, did they? They weren’t your ‘all.’ Now look to a good time you might be in the middle of right now – are you over playing the bad? Are you under playing the good?
Get your perspectives right, because remember, for good or bad, you’re now is not your all.
Ok, do let me know what you think – I love the feedback!
‘Til Next Time,
Health & Happiness,
P.S. If you’d like to do more about creating the good times, make sure you watch my free video series covering my 8 step goal achievement formula!